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  • Aunt Bertie was getting ready for Thanksgiving. She sent Uncle Clovis out to the chicken coop to wring a few hens’ necks. Any of y’all ever done that? If you have – you’re rural.
    Clovis brought a couple of hens back to the kitchen and Aunt Bertie began pulling feathers off.
    Clovis has a little pet monkey named Jack, smartest little critter you’ve ever seen, indeed. Monkey see, monkey do, is his middle name. Jack sat on his stool watching Bertie plucking those chickens.

  • Prior to our marriage my husband had a well-tended, lush back yard. His backyard was approximately an acre. For the purposes of this story I will include the side yard since it has also experienced unrelenting attacks. He mowed and weeded regularly and things ran smoothly along their appointed courses. He had a routine that worked. That was before he met me. Shortly after we married things began to change. The changes weren’t dramatic at first. Things began to shift in a gradual, insidious manner. The first major change came in the form of horses.

  • I know stuff, although most of it is useless.
    Like, only 30 percent of people can flare their nostrils.
    I know that two-thirds of people tilt their heads to the right when they kiss and that supposedly chewing gum while cutting onions will keep you from crying. Since I don’t chew gum, I don’t know how true that is. I also don’t know why onions make you cry.

  • Nov. 20, 1986 (30 Years Ago)
    Trimble County Fiscal Court approved a solid waste plan resolution Monday in order to meet a deadline imposed by the Natural Resources and Environmental Protection Cabinet. The county faces civil penalties of up to $1,000 per day for each day delayed past the deadline for submitting a plan. The county has failed to comply with this regulation since 1984.

  • To my mortification I’ve realized that I have managed to cause a greater or lesser degree of destruction with the majority of everyday items. These items are those which most people can use in absolute safety. While the following list is by no means exhaustive, it does serve to highlight the unpredictable nature of my well-intentioned efforts at daily living.
    Painter’s Tape: I am constitutionally incapable of operating this material without having the strip of tape spontaneously and inexplicably arrange itself into a useless wad.

  • I was sitting on the edge of her bed and holding my 85-year-old grandmother’s hand, we weren’t sad, the ravages of the disease had taken its toll on her and she was ready to go.
    Looking out the window of her bedroom, she smiled and said, “Look, there’s a Monarch butterfly, they have returned once again!”
    From the time I was a kid, sitting on her knee, she told me about butterflies, especially the

  • By the time I left the newsroom I was ready to rip out my hair or stick a hot poker in my ears.
    All day the noise and commotion drove me to distraction -- and it had been a fairly quiet day.
    I was alone in the pod I share with two other reporters and my phone only rang once.
    You would think the quiet would be conducive to a productive day, but I could barely put two sentences together because of the noise and commotion coming from within, my whirlwind thoughts stirring up fears and anxieties I thought I had put to rest.

  • November 6, 1986 (30 years ago)
    A 31-year old Bedford man previously indicted for robbery and rape by a Trimble County Grand Jury has been charged in connection with another indictment.  According to the Oldham Era, Franklin Ralph Roark, Jr. pleaded guilty to charges in connection to rape that occurred at Crystal Lake, LaGrange on July 1 of this year.  

  • I have a credibility problem. The medical profession has an axiom which advises, “When you hear hoof beats look for horses, not zebras.” In other words, look for the most likely explanation and not the unordinary. In my case when I hear hoof beats I think of unicorns! Once an idea is in my head, no matter how unlikely, it captures my imagination and reduces me to a novelty.

  • Every few years I go home.
    Although home for me for the past 25 years has been here in Florida, “home” home is Southern California. My DNA is a combination Valley Girl and the OC.
    Last week I went home to attend my only, and therefore by default, favorite sister’s 40th wedding anniversary party.
    I missed her wedding 40 years ago when I was living in Maine and very, very pregnant with my daughter Alison, who also flew out to California from her home in Maryland, along with my favorite only granddaughter, Caroline.

  • October 30, 1986 (30 years ago)

  • High in the nighttime sky a spotlight cuts through the darkness. The light is a beacon to every feline within a hundred mile radius. Cats and kittens turn their faces toward the beckoning light and travel to its source. The mewing horde is being drawn forth into the night to answer the call of the Cat Signal!

  • Our lives can pivot in a moment. Long held family traditions that you think can go on forever dissolve right before our eyes, all it takes is just one change of circumstance.

  • Today I did not go to Beall’s Outlet next to Publix in Inverness.
    That may not mean much to you, but to me it was a major big deal.
    Lately, I haven’t been able to stop at Publix without checking out the outlet. Even if I park far away I’ll say, “I need to walk more,” and head over to see what’s new at Beall’s.

  • October 23, 1986 (30 years ago)

  • My misadventures in gardening continued this growing season. Last year I optimistically planted a garden because I just knew that horticultural aptitude flowed through my veins. I was wrong. Within short order Garden 2015 began to wither, decay and explode. To this day I have not the foggiest notion of where I went wrong.