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  • I threw newspapers when I was twelve years old. One of my early morning customers was Mr. Striplin, the president of our local bank. On a pre-dawn morning as I struggled with a bike load of papers, he stepped out from his door and said, “Bruce, you need a motorcycle”

  • Note: On May 3, my husband and I will be married 41 years. I’ve adapted this column from 2009.
    While out for our semi-regular Sunday drive, as I flipped through the radio stations I asked my husband what kind of music he liked.
    That’s the kind of questions you ask on a first date, not after 41 years of marriage!
    I’m not sure what that says about the state of our marriage. You don’t even know what kind of music your husband likes?

  • May 8, 1986 (30 Years Ago)
    Milton resident Geraldine Kidwell’s Mexican Technique won a first place ribbon, best of division ribbon and gained the highest honor of Best of Show at the annual Kentucky Cake Club decorating show recently at the Jefferson Mall in Louisville. Geraldine is the owner/operator of K-Bees Florist in Milton.

  • The familiar Paper Wasp is a colonizer of the first order. Christopher Columbus, Hernando Cortez, Ponce de Leon and the rest of the gang seeking to lay claim to unknown lands for queen and crown had nothing on this winged intruder. This spring it has been confirmed that I am the unwelcome resident of a massive wasp hive.

  • A few months ago, the one I call my uncle dad was out shooting a gun and the noise did something to his hearing so now people sound like Donald Duck to him.
    Since then he’s had a lot of people who are also hard of hearing commiserate with him.
    He says it’s comforting to be able to say, “You too?” However, he really, really, really wants his hearing back.

  • May 1, 1986 (30 Years Ago)
    The City of Bedford has adopted an ordinance to establish the boundaries of the city. The boundaries are based on the city’s existing records and subsequent annexation ordinances. Mayor James Black stressed that this procedure is not to annex, but is to establish the city’s corporate boundaries.

  • My driving habits are in keeping with my approach to life; impulsive, distracted and a host of near misses. I don’t set out with the intention of wreaking havoc on the highways and byways of our fair Commonwealth. It just seems that my forays out into the big, bad world are destined for a mishap of one kind or another.

  • Every Saturday morning I go to the Panera near my house and write my column for the following week.
    I order an egg white and cheese breakfast sandwich and a small coffee and sit at the table that faces the big window so I can watch the traffic go by.
    I spread my stuff out, my notepad and pen and laptop and assorted notes. Most weeks I already know what I’m going to write about, but not always.

  • Every Saturday morning I go to the Panera near my house and write my column for the following week.
    I order an egg white and cheese breakfast sandwich and a small coffee and sit at the table that faces the big window so I can watch the traffic go by.
    I spread my stuff out, my notepad and pen and laptop and assorted notes. Most weeks I already know what I’m going to write about, but not always.

  • April 24, 1986 (25 years ago)
    The fiscal court voted to set the Deputy County Clerk’s salary at $12,000 upon recommendation by County Judge-Executive Jack Couch. The salary setting came about after an investigation of several months after a request  by County Clerk Robert Moore. The salary funds will be derived from fees of the clerk’s office.

  • What has had seven, or possibly eight broken noses, two blown out knees, two wrecked ankles, a few mangled toes, two ravaged hips, and an absolutely destroyed back? The answer to this riddle is my husband and I. He was a sports jock and I was a rock jock. If it involved bunting, punting, running, sprinting, jumping, tackling, passing, sliding, batting, and came with a referee, he was your man.

  • A young soldier and his commanding officer boarded a train and sat down next to a grandmother with her pretty young granddaughter. As the train roared through the tunnel you heard a kiss and a slap.
    The commanding officer was rubbing his cheek as they rolled out of the tunnel. He was thinking, “The young lady was aiming for the soldier and hit me instead.”
    The grandmother was thinking “Good for my granddaughter, standing up for herself like that, that will teach that young whippersnapper a lesson.”

  • The other day my husband opened up both of the closet doors in our bedroom and pointed out that my stuff has progressively crept into his closet and that I should do something about it.
    “Like throw your stuff out to make more room for mine?” I asked.
    Um, the answer to that would be no.
    So, I got a plastic bag and started filling it with clothes I no longer wear, and then I started going through old file folders filled with notes and beginnings of columns. That always prompts a bits and pieces column, like today’s. So, here goes:

  • April 17, 1986 (30 years ago)
    The Trimble County Public Library staff will begin re-registration of patrons on April 10, 1986, according to Librarian Patti Abell. To re-register a patron needs only to come into the library or bookmobile to fill out an application. The patron will then be given a “borrowers card.” The card is embossed with a metal plate which states the borrower’s name. In the future no one will be allowed to borrow material from the Trimble County Public Library without presenting their borrower’s card.

  • I recently had the idea to load the kitties in a laundry basket and carry them downstairs. Loki glanced at Bootsie with an expression which clearly said “Seriously? As if we aren’t running after them enough upstairs. Now she has the nerve to expand their range!” Heaving tandem, resigned sighs the co-mothers followed me downstairs with the basket load of furry mischief balls.