• Years ago I visited with a woman who sold biblical toys, action figures of Bible characters like Moses, David and Goliath and Jesus.
    The Jesus doll, about twice the size of a G.I. Joe, had movable fingers and joints and if you pressed a button on Jesus’ back he talked.
    As the woman demonstrated, Jesus started reciting Bible verses -- and wouldn’t stop.
    I was there to interview the woman for a newspaper story and tried to have a conversation with her but couldn’t concentrate because Jesus wouldn’t stop talking.

  • August 21, 1986 (30 years ago)
    Trimble County Fiscal Court has prepared and submitted a draft solid waste management plan to the Division of Waste Management, Kentucky Natural Resources and Environmental Protection Cabinet. The plan is a 20-year strategy outlining proposals to manage the solid waste generated within the county, including its storage, collection, transportation, disposal and opportunities for resources recovery.

  • Fortunately for me the wasps and I have declared a ceasefire. I no longer have to avoid the unexpected sting of a winged sniper. Earlier this summer I often found myself pinned down in crossfire on a daily basis. Now, I can walk around my house undisturbed; I sometimes do it just because I can.

  • On Walker’s Bend, in the 1960s, when a loved one died, we didn’t have a proper funeral home; we had Brother Rannie. He was a mortician and part time taxidermist. He didn’t advertise it, but if you used him for your funeralizing needs, he would mount your next deer head free.  

  • August 14, 1986 (30 years ago)
    John Bayer descried his exchange trip as “the time of my life” when he went to Mexico as part of the Rotary foreign exchange student program. John said he enjoyed the beach and tried water skiing for the first time. The crafts there, he said were beautifully made from natural materials such as herbs and spices.

  • No matter what you call it, clutter, mess, junk, or hoarding, I can produce the aforementioned with a snap of my fingers. I like to think of it as channeling my inner kangaroo rat. I also consider myself to be a recycler/reuser par excellance. My husband may see junk where I see possibility. After all, those mismatched beads may be drafted into a new role as part of a mixed media piece. Despite my well-crafted, logical argument in favor of keeping my materials I suspect some are being moved out of the house when I’m otherwise engaged.

  • Just when I think I’m not so bad, something happens to show me that I am so bad – bad to my rotting bones.
    There’s this person.
    For some reason I feel an intense, irrational, utterly petty competitiveness with her, even though we’re not competitors in any area whatsoever. Frankly, I don’t think she even knows who I am, but I sure know who she is.
    I make it my business to know her business and am giddy with glee whenever something goes even a little bit askew in her life.

  • I inherited my creative urge from my grandmother. With her bright blue eyes sparkling, whenever she walked in a room you knew everything was going to be better simply by being in her presence. Always an optimist, she would give home-spun wisdom and encouragement: “Don’t borrow troubles from tomorrow, there is sufficient ones for today,” or “You can’t see over the hill or around the corner,” to quote a few.

  • August 7, 1986 (30 years ago)
    More than 30 Trimble County farmers participated in “Operation Haylift,” an effort to donate hay to farmers in the drought-stricken South. Over 3,000 bales of hay were hauled from Trimble County to a railroad car pickup point at Shelbyville. One local farmer hauled 250 bales to Shelbyville himself.

  • My daughter calls me Fruit Fly.
    She explained this choice because, “You have the attention span of a fruit fly!”
    Fruit flies drift through life in a cloud. I live my life in a perpetual state of distraction.  Fruit flies don’t sting or bite but they do have the exasperating habit of flying into your eyes or up your nose. I’m not particularly mean. I am exasperating, but I will give your eyes and nose a wide berth. I exasperate in many, many other ways!

  • I’ve been thinking a lot about the Serenity Prayer.
    That’s the one that goes: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
    Although the prayer is often attributed to St. Francis, it was written in 1926 by Reinhold Niebuhr, a Lutheran theologian.
    Fun fact: Niebuhr also wrote one of my favorite quotes about humor being the “prelude to faith” and laughter being the “beginning of prayer.”

  • July 31, 1986 (30 Years Ago)
    Trimble County farmers were generous in their contribution to South Carolina farmers by getting involved in “Operation Haylift.” The drought-stricken southeastern part of the nation has already suffered crop and livestock losses estimated at more than $1 billion. Some sections have been rocked by a yearlong drought and excessive heat, resulting in 48 deaths due to the excessive heat. Trimble County farmers have pledged to send 1,500 square bales of hay for the relief effort.

  • This July 4th my family and I visited a nearby water park. The day was beautiful and the park was full. Dear Old Father Time, Bless his soul, has seen to it that roller coasters are no longer conducive to my optimum gastric stability. In short, my stomach will throw all engines into reverse and I will ruin the lunch plans for my fellow merry makers. Since my laptop causes motion sickness, imagine what a high-speed amusement projectile will cause. I now content myself with bumper cars, cars-on-a-track, and any kiddy ride on which I can stow away.

  • The railroad detectives had shown up at Jared’s front door for the second time in a month.
    “Mr. Walker, your boy is going to have to stay off the train trestle down at the river. One more time and I won’t be coming here to talk.”
    After they left, my uncle turned to Jared, my cousin, and said, “I have talked to your grandfather and grandmother and you are staying the summer with them. Maybe a good dose of farm labor will help you think before you jump.”

  • On Dec. 8, 2014, no one got eaten alive on the Discovery Channel’s “Eaten Alive” -- and some viewers who tuned in to see carnage were outraged.
    On May 6 of the same year, actress Shailene Woodley outraged feminists by announcing that she’s not a feminist, and on Aug. 28, Hello Kitty fans were outraged when the Sanrio company said Hello Kitty “is not a cat.”