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Features

  • The chaotic nature of my life, despite my best efforts, has made me realize the enormous amount of patience required by others to refrain from strangling me. I sincerely feel badly for those unfortunates who are drawn into the unpredictable orbit of Crystal.

  • Uncle Willis, my alcoholic Uncle Willis, spent a year and day in the Jackson County, Alabama jail. Let me explain how it happened….
    Grandma said, “Willis is a good Christian boy, he just got baptized in dirty water.”

  • On my last birthday I turned 61.
    I thought by this age I’d get the hang of the whole sainthood thing, at least the Protestant definition of a saint as simply being a follower of Jesus, although that somehow doesn’t seem to be enough. Shouldn’t there be more to it than that? Hitting a benchmark of obedience? Praying without ceasing? Saying no to temptation eight out of 10 times, or at least two out of 10?
    If so, then I’m a poor excuse for a “saint.”

  • May 29, 1986 (30 years ago)
    Alumni Banquet Enjoys 21st Gathering
    The twenty-first fathering of the Trimble County Alumni Association was held May 17 at the high school with approximately 175 in attendance. Owen Lee Clifford was Master of Ceremonies.
    Pierce Retires As TCHS Cook After 30 Years

  • When my oldest daughter was 4 or 5 we were riding with my mom and Alison blurted out, “Grandma, want to know a family secret?”
    I sat in the passenger seat frozen, not sure what my daughter was about to say.
    “It’s like Dad wearing Mom’s underwear,” Alison said.
    It was one of those moments when you feel obligated to explain, but you sure as heck don’t want to because no matter what you say your mom will still think you’re an imbecile -- or worse.

  • May 22, 1986 (30 Years Ago)
    Musical Was Enjoyable
    The Sesquicentennial Committee’s musical program held Friday  evening, May 9 was a lovely affair with the “Sweet Adeline Chorus from Louisville presenting talented trained voices ninety strong.  Their costumes of royal blue chiffon with silver beading elaborately designed were worth seeing.

  • I am the recipient of one of Mother Nature’s cruelest pranks. I have developed prinkles. One evening I was absent-mindedly fiddling with a small bump on my brow ridge. Upon further inspection I was dismayed to discover that the mysterious bump was a pimple! Of all of the ludicrous developments! I was under the impression that those days were well behind me; evidently not!

  • Growing up in the 1970s the cool thing was to start a band. If you were from the city you started a rock band; from the country, a country band; and if you were from church you started a gospel quartet. That is how I came to be a part of a gospel group.
    We had sung locally for several months before we got our first out of town invitation. I answered the phone, and the pastor on the other end said, “I hear ya’ll are a fine group of young people and we would love to have you come sing at our third Saturday night gospel singing.”

  • May 15, 1986 (30 Years Ago)

  • I threw newspapers when I was twelve years old. One of my early morning customers was Mr. Striplin, the president of our local bank. On a pre-dawn morning as I struggled with a bike load of papers, he stepped out from his door and said, “Bruce, you need a motorcycle”

  • Note: On May 3, my husband and I will be married 41 years. I’ve adapted this column from 2009.
    While out for our semi-regular Sunday drive, as I flipped through the radio stations I asked my husband what kind of music he liked.
    That’s the kind of questions you ask on a first date, not after 41 years of marriage!
    I’m not sure what that says about the state of our marriage. You don’t even know what kind of music your husband likes?

  • May 8, 1986 (30 Years Ago)
    Milton resident Geraldine Kidwell’s Mexican Technique won a first place ribbon, best of division ribbon and gained the highest honor of Best of Show at the annual Kentucky Cake Club decorating show recently at the Jefferson Mall in Louisville. Geraldine is the owner/operator of K-Bees Florist in Milton.

  • The familiar Paper Wasp is a colonizer of the first order. Christopher Columbus, Hernando Cortez, Ponce de Leon and the rest of the gang seeking to lay claim to unknown lands for queen and crown had nothing on this winged intruder. This spring it has been confirmed that I am the unwelcome resident of a massive wasp hive.