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Features

  • Our resident skunk population has grown to three: each animal larger than the last. I thought I knew the average size of these critters but I was sadly mistaken. The skunk syndicate moved under our porch with the possums. I’m beginning to believe that either some kind of party is raging or they’re planning a coup to overthrow the humans and take the house.

  • When I was about 2 years old, I bopped my baby brother with a wooden hammer and once put a wad of gum in my sister’s hair.
    I was part of a group of kids who called a girl in our neighborhood “fungus face,” and in eighth grade I spread vicious rumors about a girl who I thought stole my boyfriend.
    Once I shoplifted a bottle of Compound W wart remover and a Yardley Lip Slicker lipstick from Thrifty Drug Store.

  • Oct. 15, 1987 (30 Years Ago)

  • We all know the story of the elves and the shoe cobbler. The elves would visit the shoe maker after he went to bed. The next morning, he would awaken to dozens of pairs of shoes made by the elves.
    His labors were lightened by the kindness and thoughtfulness of his nighttime visitors.
    I have nocturnal visitations as well. Unfortunately, mine seem bent on undoing all my efforts of the day plus adding a touch of mayhem. Allow me to introduce Dish Gremlins, Silverware Hobgoblins and Lint Trap Trolls.

  • Lately, I’ve been pondering the story Jesus told of the lost son, or what’s more commonly called the parable of the prodigal son.
    The son demands his inheritance from his father, which is basically him telling his dad he wishes him dead, and then takes the money and runs far away, squandering his wealth on wild living.
    When he ends up broke, he finds a job feeding pigs and finds himself so hungry that he longs to eat the pig food.

  • October 8, 1987 (30 Years Ago)
    Genon Ginn Hensley of Carrollton has been named assistant Commonwealth’s Attorney for the 12th Judicial District by Bruce Hamilton. Hensley is the first female to serve as assistant in the district which includes Oldham, Henry and Trimble counties. Hensley graduated from law school in 1984 and served a two-year stint with the Jefferson County public defender’s office. Hensley replaces Eurie Hayes Smith III who has been assistant for about a year.

  • The Gingko tree is an absolute work of the art of nature; from its beautiful shape to its fan-shaped leaves, leaves which change from luminous green to translucent gold. One would be hard-pressed to find a tree of such beauty.
    This lovely tree doesn’t show her age. The “Silver Apricot,” as she is known in China, has an ancient history. The gingko is speculated to have existed during prehistoric times. One tree growing in China is approximately 3500 years old. She was introduced to the U.S. in the 1700’s. Once here she found a loyal following.

  • A number of years ago, a man I know had multiple surgeries on his hand, which left him without feeling in it.
    He had had surgery because of pain, so in one respect, not feeling meant he also no longer felt pain, so that’s a good thing, right?
    However, as a craftsman, that also meant he couldn’t use his hand to do his job, which required using both hands and all his fingers.

  • I have conniving horses. As time goes by the boys, Biscuit and Lightning, continue to prove that they are, indeed, horses of a different color.

  • It was one of the post-Irma, pre-power-turned-back-on days and my husband and I were at a local restaurant for dinner.
    A man sitting next to us recognized me as “the lady from the newspaper,” and we started talking about the hurricane we had just survived and how God had spared us.
    The man confessed that he wasn’t a regular churchgoer, maybe went four or five times a year, but he was for sure going to go to church that Sunday.
    “God answered the prayers of people who prayed,” he said.

  • Sept. 24, 1987 (30 Years Ago)

  • Unfortunately for me my favorite season is coming to an end. The days have grown shorter. Much to my disgust I find myself wearing a jacket in the mornings and evenings. The flower beds and the gardens are playing out, and that little fiend Jack Frost is lurking somewhere in the shadows waiting for his chance to spoil my mornings.

  • Sept. 17, 1987 (30 Years Ago)

  • Mowing appears to be one of America’s great pastimes. Any day of fine weather will bring battalions of lawn tractors, push mowers and weed eaters to the front lines to do battle upon unruly grass. My husband is no exception; and lately, me.
    The Navy marked my husband in an indelible manner. If his hair has the temerity to grow an inch he whips out the clippers and puts it back in its place. Woe betide the stray tuft that dares to grow beyond its fellows. After a thorough inspection the rebellious lock meets its doom at the merciless blades of the clippers.