.....Advertisement.....
.....Advertisement.....

Features

  • Characters—every family has them—our family was “blessed” with many. If you shook our family tree, more than a few nuts would fall out, and it was a heavy producer. With 40 uncles and aunts, (I’m not exaggerating…yet) there was never a shortage of unusual circumstances.

  • Every so often I’ll say to God, “With all due respect and with the full realization that you can fry me on the spot, which I admittedly deserve -- you have obviously lost your mind, Sir.”
    Here’s a perfect example: After many, many months of inviting a friend to my church, one day several years ago this friend finally decided to actually come.
    I should’ve been happy about that, but that particular week was right in the middle of a capital campaign, which meant the pastor would be talking about giving money.

  • July 3, 1986  (30 years ago)
    All ablaze; Both Milton and Bedford Fire Departments and EMS responded to the scene of two house fires shortly after 6 p.m. Monday. The property was recently purchased by Jack Olds, who wanted the vacant houses destroyed.  The fire departments and ambulance crews used the opportunity to stage a working fire drill.

  • I absolutely do not understand fashion. I realize that goes without saying if you know me, but I recently saw a commercial for a beauty product which baffled me.

  • Moses had a problem, not the one in the Bible, but the one down at our neighborhood grocery store.  

  • Although I don’t think it’s terminal, it is chronic: I have a chronic case of CRS -- Can’t Remember Stuff.
    That’s the diagnosis one of my co-workers gave me the other day. He may or may not have been joking.
    I tell people all the time to please, please, please remind me of stuff. It’s the CRS, folks. I just can’t remember.
    At least I’m not alone. The ancient Israelites had it too. They were always forgetting stuff, mostly the stuff God had done for them, even rescuing them from years of slavery in Egypt.

  • June 26, 1986 (30 years ago)
    Clyde “Jack” Greenwood died Friday, June 20 at King’s Daughters Hospital, Madison, Ind. A native of Trimble County, Greenwood wore two hats in the community, that of county judge for 24 years until January of this year and that of newspaper editor for 11 years. He currently served as Editor Emeritus of The Trimble Banner-Democrat.

  • My success rate with horticulture is hit or miss. Last year my garden deteriorated into a state of decaying, exploding chaos. I have no clue what happened. Whatever it was it was ugly. I’m positive my Dad is in Heaven shaking his head in dismay. He taught me better than that! I just managed to forget critical elements.

  • The old adage, “Truth is Stranger Than Fiction,” played out while I was eating breakfast one morning in Lynchburg, Tenn., (home of Jack Daniels Distillery and that might explain this story) sitting in one of those quintessential coffee shops that dot the town square of nearly every midwestern and southern town.

  • My grandfather sold insurance by day and in his spare time he was an artist.
    He mostly painted clowns -- scary clowns.
    A few of his paintings hung in our house, which meant as a kid I had major heebie jeebies nearly all the time, especially at night.
    When you’re a kid getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and you know scary clowns are staring at you from the walls in the hallway, well, you grow up neurotic and afraid.

  • June 12, 1986 (30 Years Ago)
    The Kentucky Public Service Commission, recognizing Louisville Gas and Electric Company’s need for a date certain to use for planning and budgeting in connection with the electric generating unit that the Company is building in Trimble County, has found that July 1991 “is appropriate for these purposes.” But the PSC said it will continue to review and monitor the need for the Trimble County plant. LG&E had scheduled the unit for completion in mid-1988, but the PSC last fall ordered a delay of at least three years.

  • Finally, after discussion, debating and a fair share of whining, my husband agreed to get rid of a pair of atrocious carpets. The carpets were decades old and have been the recipients of many assaults of the human and pet kind. No amount of vacuuming and steam cleaning had lightened the dingy color, eliminated the odor, or dispelled the carpet ghosts. One fine morning the carpet guys showed up and removed the bane of my existence. That afternoon I was free of dingy, smelly, haunted carpets!

  • Spending summers on our grandparents’ farms was a rite of passage for some of us. The rapidly changing face of the American Culture of the 60’s and 70’s left many of our parents (children of the Great Depression of the 30’s) wanting their progeny to experience and understand what their childhoods were like.
    That is how I found myself, the summer of my 10th birthday, at my grandparents’ farm. Granddaddy had built a roughhewn bunkhouse to house my cousins and me for the farm labor we would provide for the summer.

  • I wish you could walk in my shoes.
    I’m talking about my Skechers round-toed EZ Flex 2 Sweetpea slip-ons with the softest, most cushiony memory foam footbeds that feel like I’m walking on pillows.
    I have three pairs -- black, gray and powder blue. Today I’m wearing the powder blue ones. They are the most comfortable shoes I own and quite possibly the most comfortable shoes I may have ever worn before in my entire life.
    I love these shoes.

  • June 5, 1986 (30 Years Ago)
    This year’s Trimble County Fair promises to be bigger and better than ever before. Running from June 17-21, the fair’s theme is Celebration ’86. The theme was chosen by fair board members from entries submitted by local students. Celebration ’86 was the idea of Sabina McCoy, daughter of Charles and Corliss McCoy, Milton.

  • The chaotic nature of my life, despite my best efforts, has made me realize the enormous amount of patience required by others to refrain from strangling me. I sincerely feel badly for those unfortunates who are drawn into the unpredictable orbit of Crystal.

  • Uncle Willis, my alcoholic Uncle Willis, spent a year and day in the Jackson County, Alabama jail. Let me explain how it happened….
    Grandma said, “Willis is a good Christian boy, he just got baptized in dirty water.”

  • On my last birthday I turned 61.
    I thought by this age I’d get the hang of the whole sainthood thing, at least the Protestant definition of a saint as simply being a follower of Jesus, although that somehow doesn’t seem to be enough. Shouldn’t there be more to it than that? Hitting a benchmark of obedience? Praying without ceasing? Saying no to temptation eight out of 10 times, or at least two out of 10?
    If so, then I’m a poor excuse for a “saint.”